First, let me start out by saying that although there is a general agreed upon basic definition of Love among the literary community and various sub-definitions to describe it, there is no "real" definition. It's true that scientists have placed Love under the microscope and attempted to explain it in a hormonal and physiological sense; completely displacing the whole analytical concept and looking at it from a strictly hard science perspective. Yet, there is still no answer that satiates all of Love's audience and participants.
Why define Love? Why over-analyze the definition? Why don't we just enjoy experiencing it and not worry about the rest? I wish it were that easy for me. How could I know what I'm really experiencing while simultaneously not knowing what it is? When we're in Love, most would argue, we "just know". It is an intuitive feeling. We just know. My objective through my over-analytic stab at my definition of Love is to explain more of the concept of Love than the definition itself. My intention is not to preach or to convince anyone this is the "actual meaning of Love". This is merely an accumulation of observations and experiences to formulate a better understanding for myself.
It's easy to describe everything Love isn't, right? Well, common sense isn't so common. Especially since emotions overpower logic and reason quite easily. Love makes people do crazy things and there are many different types of Love. True Love is unconditional and places all the other dysfunctional obsessions that are most often confused for Love in a separate category.
Where does the idea of Love come from? It evolved across time and across cultures. Here, I'm only going to look at what applies to my generation and culture for now. Religion plays a significant role in how we formulate our morals, values, and ethics along with family upbringing; but that's not to say that we are immune to the confounds of societal influences. Movies, sitcoms, music, celebrity romances seen as standard and subconscious role models, media/gossip, etc. are all ingrained and deeply rooted in our minds from childhood and continues to do so. Ever hear song lyrics that say "I need you", "I can't live without you", "you make me whole"? How unfortunate is that to be a relationship completely dependent on the other person, or if the other person is completely dependent on you? What could you possibly have to offer a relationship if you're not even a whole person? There has got to be more to Love than completely immersing yourself and your identity in the other person for a relationship.
What is an ideal, healthy Love? To me, Love is when that person inspires you to reach the unimaginable because together anything is possible. Love is when you bring out the best in each other. Love is using all the butterflies in your gut to not be afraid to fly to greater heights. Love is falling with your eyes closed and kissing with your eyes open. Love is when you love who you are when you're with them. Love is that compatibility when you have the best of both worlds when you both contribute to one another's. Love is when you share the same sense of humor. Love is truly trusting the other person; not checking their facebook pages, Twitters, blogs, emails, phones, planners, and their other personal things behind their backs. Love is believing them and believing
in them. Love is when all your walls are down even through the inital fear of unprotected exposure allowing your true self to show. Love is a two-way street. Love is not 50%-50%, it's 100%-100%. (110% is unreasonable). Love is that constant support no matter what the odds are. Love is when both people want it at the same time and all that "trying" and "wanting" actually
is. Love is not an idea, it's a sensational experience. Love doesn't fit in any particular mold, it's unique to every couple. There is no comparrison between other boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, and wives. Love is actually understanding the concept of forgiveness. Love is knowing how to grow from the past without holding onto it because it helps build us into the people we strive to become. Love is changing alongside each other, going in the same direction since change is inevitable. Love is not complaining, it's that open communication while keeping an open mind. Love is not placing one or the other first, it's taking turns and compromising. Love is loving yourself so you know how to love another person. Love is confident, committed, and everything you would want yourself to be. Love is experiencing life the way you want with a partner. Love is not selfish, it's selfless. Love is mature and patient. Love has its ups and downs but most importantly its always there. Love is stronger than the insecurities that could weaken onself. Love is looking into the eyes of the person across from you and speaking the same silent language. Love is not perfect, it's unconditional acceptance and beautiful. Love is genuine. Love is the simple answer to a complicated question. Love for me is not limited to the descriptions above... it's just a portion of what I was able to extract from my tired mind. This is only the begining. Love is amazingly wonderful and I am so eternally grateful to be able to experience this.
The most common Love quote is taken directly from the Bible:
“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
So the question remains, "What is Love?". Like life, it is forever evolving. I will not search for the meaning but will continue to follow what gives it meaning. Like Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living". I have a thirst for knowledge and an understanding not only of the world around me, but the world I create... and the world I create is inspired by Love.
LOVE Always, Lainey
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