forbidden fruit

with california's frost just around the block

maybe it's nothing more than an autumn's gloss

and as i cross the street with my unpredictability

it warms me to think i'm on the brink of something

there's lots of trees in bloom with forbidden fruit

and oooh it's simply tempting us with the truth

so sweet with my heart beat dripping down my sleeve

i can't see anything but him in front of me



ooh i should recognize the signs
as i can't deny his irresistibility

completely submitting to those eyes
 as the storms come and go

this is the one i won't let go of

ooooh it's love

all the cliches floating 'round my head

replaying over and over again but this time it's meant

he came without a warning out of nowhere

i was impatiently unexpecting this and oooh it's not fair

oooh i should recognize the signs
as i can't deny his irresistibility

completely submitting to his eyes
as the storms come and go

this is the one i won't let go of

ooooh it's love

i'm in trouble now with how sweet it could be

i didn't know better please don't you blame me

and as i took a bite straight from that forbidden fruit

that's when i knew that all i want is you

...

so sweet with my heart beat dripping down my sleeve

i can't see anything but you with me

and as the storms come and go

this is the one i won't let go of

ooooh it's love



LOVE Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

RockTober

Autumn leaves swirl down the sidewalk, as though they’re waltzing to the silent symphony of October’s song.  The only ones lucky enough to hear it are the ones lucky enough to stop for a moment from their day to day hustle to attend to all that really surrounds them.  The simplest of truths are all around us all the time.  The sky is painted acrylic grey.  Not the kind of depressing grey that keeps everyone indoors, but the intriguing kind of grey that sparks imagination for the upcoming mornings, days, evenings, and nights.  California autumn may not be as spectacular as other places with our beaches, palm trees, and 365 day/year sunshine, but it holds its own sentiment and beautiful changes unique to other seasons here. 

This time of year reminds me it’s a time for change.  With the drastic change in weather and fashion, it not only has an external effect but the weather also affects me like an internal metronome; as our tempo (or pace) subconsciously (or consciously) change each day.  When it seems as though most are slowing down, unused to the chills now infiltrating the air; I speed up because the crisp air is invigorating.  With this newfound energy I’ve been so desperately needing, I am now inspired and in pursuit of allowing myself to let October’s song to guide me anywhere the wind blows.  Whether it’s writing more, getting out more, reading more, or composing more.  Who knows what the next day will bring… all I know is what I can bring with me as these days go by. 

Song:  medium paced guitar strumming accompanied by a cello-bass, simple piano, with guitar hits for percussion.  Two tracks for vocals for overlapping during chorus.

More To This

there's shadow in the moonlight

and a spark from the tail pipe

there's a light in the deepest of dark

a dreamer's dream on the farthest star

there's wind blowing through the leaves

and a mountain covered in trees

still believe that there's more to this

when there always is

you can find hope that's eloped

when you thought it was gone

you can find faith that's erased

when you thought it didn't belong

answers fill the silence in question

when reason overpowers suggestion

these dark roads go where no one knows

so drive and we'll go where there's more to this

when there always is

There's wind blowing through the leaves

and a mountain covered in trees

still believe that there's more to this

when there always is

you can find hope that's eloped

when you thought it was gone

you can find faith that's erased

when you thought it didn't belong

there's light in the dark

and hearts that've been marked

there's bliss in knowledge

and love from above

just know there's more to this

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

all at once

all at once

i'm taken over

unprepared

uncompared

drunk with love

completely sober

stare past the stars

in the hearts of us all

as we fall against gravity

uplifting us past where our eyes can see

strange, it's a comfort unknown

as we go down these unmarked roads

...

do you know the way

to a place

an escape

where we can make anything possible

as we're guided as we drift away

all at once

i'm exactly

where i need to be

in your arms

completely disarmed

stare past the stars

in the hearts of us all

as we fall against gravity

uplifting us past where our eyes can see

strange, it's a comfort unknown

as we go down these unmarked roads

i'm afraid i've become

someone i didn't think

was safe and so out of control, simultaneously

i see, basically

you're just like me

all at once

all the meanings changed

when the one thing constant

is us, framed in constellations

strange, it's a comfort unknown

as we go down these unmarked roads

 Love Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

what we know

wash our hands clean once again

so they'll blend in

watch the direction of all the pointing fingers

and yet we still see it in our reflection

we submit to all the green, all the envy

and let it take the best part of what we could be

we bleed under our sleeve of all that we feel

and leave behind what we know is real

what we know is real

...

this hourglass of tricksand

continues to fall

it slips through our hands

and leaves nothing at all

as jokes and time fly over our heads

we restlessly lay awake in our beds

in the beds we've made

we submit to all the green, all the envy

and let it take the best part of what we could be

we bleed under our sleeve of all that we feel

and leave behind what we know is real

what we know is real

when the ground shakes

we think we stand still

unable to make

sense until

until we let ourselves fall....

we submit to the greed

we submit to conceit

bleed under our sleeve

and leave behind

what we know is real...

what we know is

real

Always,

Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

modern life

There's an old wooden table

dated by the rings left by glasses

fake orchids add the perfect touch

for these conversations through the cable

we talk for hours with our hands

through letters on a modern screen

our emotions have been replaced just so

someone else can understand

we're so close but so far away

separated by square inches of a room

since when did we become so consumed

in these artifical friends everyday?

and who's to say that i'm immune

as I put my thoughts in cyberspace?

and who's to say that you aren't too

when these words have got to you this way?

we're subjected to the art of reason

but we fail to question anything that contradicts

yet we're living hypocritics

when we follow what's popular to believe in

history is made when we stand up for change

or do we give in to these devices?

maybe together both worlds are paradise

if we all knew how to use it the right way

as i stare off the screen and back to the room

my flowers are still in bloom

everything is still in it's place

as we're creating these cyber tombs

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

painted skies

It's getting colder now

and the skies are turning gray

it's all painted in the clouds

like our dreams in other shades

time tells us nothing

if we've stood in one place

age tells us nothing

if there was nothing for us to chase

so let me bring you far away

far away from the most distant memory

let me bring you far away

where life isn't just a dream

wake up to a new embrace

with a new set of eyes

and a permanent smile on your face

no longer painted on for disguise

waste nothing but the unnecessary

cause there's value in it all

don't let it go sedentary

or they'll hide behind your wall

use the best of you in all you do

even when the weather wears you down

show the world they've underestimated you

and wear your true self's crown

it's getting colder now

and the skies are beginning to dawn

it's all painted in the clouds

so now go above and beyond

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

Build

one night

it was dark

the only light inside was for saving

held on

for dear life

and imagined a safe haven

my hands

helped me crawl

as all the walls were caving in

but through the dust that rose

i began to close but i didn't know, didn't know

as i tip toed through broken cement

i saw your silhouette

cause you guided me to you

pushed back debris

watched me climb

as the stones came loose

so i tried and i climbed

and i climbed and i tried

til i knew

i knew

through time

lots of patience

and sleepless nights

i could hear

silence resonate

from the corners of my brain

 so i began to close but i didn't know, didn't know

as i tip toed through broken cement

i saw your silhouette

cause you guided me to you

pushed back debris

watched me climb

as the stones came loose

so i tried and i climbed

and i climbed and i tried

til i knew

i knew

i knew something had to change

and everytime you said my name

i knew i wasn't alone

you made me so much better

and i feel it everytime we're together

cause you guided me to you

pushed back debris

watched me climb

as the stones came loose

so i tried and i climbed

and i climbed and i tried

til i knew

i knew

one night

it was dark

the only light inside was for you

and now

i built a brand new place

somewhere i can stay with you

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

the truth

paper thin an airplane flew

over a tower of cards

toppling over after the wind blew

and behind the glass of this home

i sensed it coming from afar

came all this way just to throw some stones

calendars later it was time

when it was only saved in a photo

so i let it go and it was gone from my mind

i didn't run but i left

wouldn't forget but went with the rising sun

didn't look back, looked ahead

and instead of feeling free

 i still hear you're chasing me

i hear footsteps coming closer together

giving me anxiety

i almost forgot how you were clever

never in a million years

did i think

you would be stuck in those years

wear your pride like a trophy

 so undercover

when we all know what you're secretly hoping

i didn't run but i left

wouldn't forget but went with the rising sun

didn't look back, looked ahead

and instead of feeling free

 i still hear you're chasing me

get your army of ignorance to speak up

repeating things like a parrot on your shoulder

the more crackers you feed the more you get bolder

as the lies grew so did your head

fed your ego with every word you said

when there's a side to you that they'll never know

i hope they'll never know

i didn't run but i left

wouldn't forget but went with the rising sun

didn't look back, looked ahead

and instead of feeling free

 i still hear you're chasing me

i didn't run but i left

wouldn't forget but went with the rising sun

didn't look back, looked ahead

and instead of feeling free

 i still hear you're chasing me

i'm sorry

i'm sorry you've become so good at story telling

you really do believe it

i don't know what else to do

when ignoring it and taking the hits

still didn't stop you

so i give you permission to do what you have to do

cause at least I know the truth

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.



My LOVE, Chris

I LOVE that he is the same size as me when he's on his knees.

I LOVE that my foot is the same size as his hand.

I LOVE that two of my footsteps are one of his. It's true, we counted. ;)

I LOVE looking in his eyes and speaking to him with mine.

I LOVE that he cares what I think.

I LOVE that he has a mind of his own.

I LOVE that we trust each other.

I LOVE that we communicate.

I LOVE how hard-working he is.

I LOVE his sense of humor.

I LOVE making him laugh.

I LOVE how he is such a gentleman.

I LOVE how he's always there for me. 

I LOVE how reliable and dependable he is.

I LOVE that I can tell him anything.  He doesn't judge me.

I LOVE how he makes sure I eat breakfast.  I'm not a breakfast person.

I LOVE how he likes to sleep on the side by the door to protect me.

I LOVE how patient he is.

I LOVE his thought process.

I LOVE his style.

I LOVE singing in the car with him and listening to songs on repeat.

I LOVE that he lights candles for me when I get there.

I LOVE the way he smells... & he wears my favorite cologne.

I LOVE his family.

I LOVE how he LOVES my family and friends.

I LOVE how he looks at me... he catches me every time I fall.

I LOVE looking at him. oooh la la...

I LOVE how he's a romantic even though he doesn't admit it much.

I LOVE his resilience.

I LOVE how strong he is.

I LOVE that he can pick me up with one hand.

I LOVE how he talks to me when he's upset.

I LOVE how willing he is to do things spontaneously.

I LOVE kissing him.

I LOVE how he sweeps me off my feet.  I try to do the same ;)

I LOVE who I am when I'm with him.

I LOVE how much we learn from each other.

I LOVE how independent he is.

I LOVE how accepting he is.

I LOVE how big his heart is.

I LOVE how I get goosebumps every time he holds me.

I LOVE how smart and open-minded he is.

I LOVE his sense of morals, ethics, and values.

I LOVE how he "tries" to pay for everything.  Even though I won't let him.

I LOVE that where ever I go with him, we're in paradise. Even if it's at home.

I LOVE how he tries to understand me even when I don't understand myself.

I LOVE that's he's not corrupted by California just yet. ;)

I LOVE how is accent slips out sometimes.

I LOVE when he plays with my hair.

I LOVE how he gets that we both need time with our friends.

I LOVE that he is a good planner.

I LOVE his sense of adventure.

I LOVE the things we don't have in common cause they say a lot about him.

I LOVE how he doesn't mean to choose the lamest movies to watch.

I LOVE they way he cooks and cleans.

I LOVE how much he LOVES Bruce. I LOVE Bruce too!

I LOVE the way he LOVES me.

I just LOVE him.

Always, Lainey 

©2011 all rights reserved.

Map of the World

Look down at my feet, so sedentary

Leading up to me are just my lonely steps

Of the times I can’t forget what led me here

But the time is near

With the map of the world ahead of me

I ask countless questions that remain unanswered

But the silence feeds my curiosity

Internally no one speaks but me so I

Don’t have to divide

Possibilities and I can also be a dancer

Tip toe across the world

I’m so at home , this is the place I know

The map of the world

Slows the world down, and now

I fall asleep to its melancholy sound

There’s no other way to be free

Switch off the bias radio and television

Hate to admit it was my best decision and

Broke free of the mold of man

Finally able to breathe an air so clean

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

the meaning of Love

First, let me start out by saying that although there is a general agreed upon basic definition of Love among the literary community and various sub-definitions to describe it, there is no "real" definition.  It's true that scientists have placed Love under the microscope and attempted to explain it in a hormonal and physiological sense; completely displacing the whole analytical concept and looking at it from a strictly hard science perspective.  Yet, there is still no answer that satiates all of Love's audience and participants.

Why define Love?  Why over-analyze the definition?  Why don't we just enjoy experiencing it and not worry about the rest?  I wish it were that easy for me.  How could I know what I'm really experiencing while simultaneously not knowing what it is?  When we're in Love, most would argue, we "just know".  It is an intuitive feeling.  We just know.  My objective through my over-analytic stab at my definition of Love is to explain more of the concept of Love than the definition itself.  My intention is not to preach or to convince anyone this is the "actual meaning of Love".  This is merely an accumulation of observations and experiences to formulate a better understanding for myself.

It's easy to describe everything Love isn't, right?  Well, common sense isn't so common.  Especially since emotions overpower logic and reason quite easily.  Love makes people do crazy things and there are many different types of Love.  True Love is unconditional and places all the other dysfunctional obsessions that are most often confused for Love in a separate category. 

Where does the idea of Love come from? It evolved across time and across cultures.  Here, I'm only going to look at what applies to my generation and culture for now.  Religion plays a significant role in how we formulate our morals, values, and ethics along with family upbringing; but that's not to say that we are immune to the confounds of societal influences. Movies, sitcoms, music, celebrity romances seen as standard and subconscious role models, media/gossip, etc.  are all ingrained and deeply rooted in our minds from childhood and continues to do so.  Ever hear song lyrics that say "I need you", "I can't live without you", "you make me whole"?  How unfortunate is that to be a relationship completely dependent on the other person, or if the other person is completely dependent on you?   What could you possibly have to offer a relationship if you're not even a whole person?  There has got to be more to Love than completely immersing yourself and your identity in the other person for a relationship. 

What is an ideal, healthy Love?  To me, Love is when that person inspires you to reach the unimaginable because together anything is possible.  Love is when you bring out the best in each other.  Love is using all the butterflies in your gut to not be afraid to fly to greater heights.  Love is falling with your eyes closed and kissing with your eyes open.  Love is when you love who you are when you're with them.  Love is that compatibility when you have the best of both worlds when you both contribute to one another's.   Love is when you share the same sense of humor.  Love is truly trusting the other person; not checking their facebook pages, Twitters, blogs, emails, phones, planners, and their other personal things behind their backs.  Love is believing them and believing in them. Love is when all your walls are down even through the inital fear of unprotected exposure allowing your true self to show.  Love is a two-way street.  Love is not 50%-50%, it's 100%-100%.  (110% is unreasonable).  Love is that constant support no matter what the odds are.  Love is when both people want it at the same time and all that "trying" and "wanting" actually is.  Love is not an idea, it's a sensational experience.  Love doesn't fit in any particular mold, it's unique to every couple.  There is no comparrison between other boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, and wives.  Love is actually understanding the concept of forgiveness.  Love is knowing how to grow from the past without holding onto it because it helps build us into the people we strive to become.  Love is changing alongside each other, going in the same direction since change is inevitable.  Love is not complaining, it's that open communication while keeping an open mind.  Love is not placing one or the other first, it's taking turns and compromising.  Love is loving yourself so you know how to love another person.  Love is confident, committed, and everything you would want yourself to be.  Love is experiencing life the way you want with a partner.  Love is not selfish, it's selfless.  Love is mature and patient.  Love has its ups and downs but most importantly its always there.  Love is stronger than the insecurities that could weaken onself.  Love is looking into the eyes of the person across from you and speaking the same silent language.  Love is not perfect, it's unconditional acceptance and beautiful.  Love is genuine.  Love is the simple answer to a complicated question.  Love for me is not limited to the descriptions above... it's just a portion of what I was able to extract from my tired mind.  This is only the begining.  Love is amazingly wonderful and I am so eternally grateful to be able to experience this.

The most common Love quote is taken directly from the Bible:
   

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

So the question remains, "What is Love?".  Like life, it is forever evolving.  I will not search for the meaning but will continue to follow what gives it meaning.  Like Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living".  I have a thirst for knowledge and an understanding not only of the world around me, but the world I create... and the world I create is inspired by Love.

LOVE Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

stay

i can't sleep

when being awake is better than my dreams

such a long way down

to fall when i saw the world so upside down

 now i see you

perfectly in view and i'm trying so hard not to move

 i look in your eyes

looking back at mine

and in this moment in time you take me away

to a place

i wanna stay

yeah, i wanna stay

stay by your side

if i could freeze

this moment in time would be complete

where i'm weak

cause i never thought anyone could break through to me

 it's all brand new

so true, so true, i think i'm gonna keep you

 i look in your eyes

looking back at mine

and in this moment in time you take me away

to a place

i wanna stay

yeah, i wanna stay

stay by your side

and now i'm here

weary and holding on

strong enough to realize

you're mine and i'm by your side

and now everything's alright

yeah, everything's alright

 i look in your eyes

looking back at mine

and in this moment in time you take me away

to a place

i wanna stay

yeah, i wanna stay

stay by your side

...

i look in your eyes

and i see mine

whenever

i'm by your side

yeah, i'm gonna stay

stay by your side

Love Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

this is right

right through my fingers

I let it slip

then you softly kissed my lips

and you saved me

you caught my heart but first my eyes

then I couldn't hide

no I couldn't hide

I knew it was true

 I found myself in you

but I never knew what to do

when I found someone like you

so how do I know I'm not compromised

when all my senses are multiplied

all I know is this is right

I thought I gave my all

until my walls completely fell

I need your help

oh I need your help

I knew it was true

I found myself in you

but I never knew what to do

when I found someone like you

so how do I know I'm not compromised

when all my senses are multiplied

all I know is this is right

once I touched your face

I couldn't get away

and I can't say

I ever felt that way

I knew it was true

oh it feels so right

Love Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

night light

Night starts to fall
catch it with its falling stars
reach out your arms and
break the silence with your heart

It's okay to fear
something so uncertain
let your faith guide you
through the veil of this curtain

Light shines through the window
like a spot light, all night
keep it coming to help me see
see the me I'm meant to be

When I'm with you
my walls fall down
and it only happens when you're around

When I can't speak
you read my eyes
and I can't hide when
you bring me to light

Like a spark in the dark
brightens up the room
so does my heart
every time I see you

So hold me close
and kiss me tonight
and give me an overdose
of your night light


Always, Lainey
©2011 all rights reserved.

where I stand

struggles are key to how we survive

to stand up we need to know

what falling is like

when i say i'm fine you know the truth

sitting next to me nothing gets past you

you studied my face and like my quirks

and you weren't afraid of saying it first

giving up is as useless as the P in psychic

trying to predict the worst from these feelings to hide it

i can't sleep when i think of where all of this can go

it's never been so hard for me to let this show

i drown in your eyes when you look at me

i didn't want to know how easy it could be

sometimes complications are the easy way out

until we're brave enough to say it out loud

i climb out of fear to reach the sky

energy spent well knowing i tried

i look down below just to see where i am

it's such a long way but you're where i stand

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved. 

ready or not

All the loaded questions

well the answers I didn't know them

all I could do was hold them in my thoughts

close my eyes and hope you forgot

I wasn't ready 

for you to see right through me

Taken back and holding back

well it leaves me cold.. out of whack

 please don't look at me right now

can't take my eyes off the ground

There's a part of me you already have

hold me close don't give it back

I don't know what this is

but I feel it on your lips

I wasn't ready 

for you to see right through me

Taken back and holding back

well it leaves me cold.. out of whack

 please don't look at me right now

can't take my eyes off the ground

I'm too busy perfecting myself

and losing myself in someone else

sometimes it's bittersweet

but it's even better that you found me

yeah

and I remember why I built my walls

but when you're around somehow they fall

and all I know is how it feels when you're around

and all I can think about is now

yeah

 I wasn't ready 

I wasn't ready

for you to see right through me

yeah

for you to see right through me

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved. 

Blur

Blur the line that keeps me from seeing what's right 

 what's right in front of me

I walk along side my ghost of night

I'm the only one left deceived

Burn the edges of my mind

the place that keeps me up at night

lead the way to a new paradise

as I drift away to the me I kinda like

ooooh, I can't lie I'm a little unsure

ooooh, I can't lie it's all a blur

how did I get here?

If at all I could fall in his arms and his eyes

I would do it so fast

can't hear past my smile to hear me cry

how I want to make this last

Burn the edges of my mind

the place that keeps me up at night

lead the way to a new paradise

as I drift away to the me I kinda like

ooooh, I can't lie I'm a little unsure

ooooh, I can't lie it's all a blur

ooooh, I can't lie I'm a little unsure

ooooh, I can't lie it's all a blur

ooooh, can't deny how I want you now

...I just need you now

Blur the line that keeps me from seeing what's right 

 what's right in front of me

I walk to you, lead me to light

take me to where I need to be

ooooh, where I need to be 

where I need to be

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved. 

day-scapes

What I love most about music is that it speaks for itself.  Oftentimes, a good instrumental succesfully conveys what words cannot.  Everything is felt and transmitted from the heart to the fingertips and translated through the air... hopelessly, wandering in search of someone or something to connect with.

Today, I am lost amongst all 88 piano keys.  Tomorrow may be between all 20 frets of an acoustic... or the 4 strings for pizzicato.  Who knows? Let your musical curiosity take you to your own special day-scape.  Who says we can't have a vacation everyday?  ;)  Treat yourself and escape in the wake...



Love Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved. 

P.S. join me on my day-scape...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQflMpgDL4

the beautiful truth

clear the air and lead the way

don't believe in "what if's" or "mistakes"

lay beneath the smiling moon

and see where your thoughts take you

count the stars and breathe the waves

see how many lives your heart can save

spell out sweet nothings in the sand

don't think twice just reach out your hand

challenge yourself each given day

give in to what takes your breath away

with a leap of faith, close your eyes

know the sun will always rise

Let the beauty of the wind freely paint 

across the skies, mountains, and plains

these once abrasions now draw us in

as the beauty seeps down past our skin

There's no point in moving fast or staying in one place

enjoy the view and go at your own pace

there's no comparison to anyone else

all that matters is if you're true to yourself

don't be shy, stare at your face

don't let time tell you your age

love who you are and who you'll be

be the person you'll want to meet

Learn the things you wanted to yesterday

and believe someday is today

wake up to a world brand new

and leave room for the beautiful truth

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved. 

dandelion wishes

There's a million things to make wishes on: candles, fallen eyelashes, wishbones, shooting stars, etc. However, dandelions are the most fun.  I imagine my every thought holding onto each seed as it's carried away and taken to a magical place full of good fortune and immortal filing systems... good things are bound to happen. 

I believe the cliches.  Everything happens for a reason.  I believe good thoughts make good choices.  If life were easy, it wouldn't be worth living because we wouldn't know what our capabilities are.  We wouldn't know what we could endure or grow into.  They say, "It's easier said than done", so take that as a challenge and show the world it CAN be done.  As stuborn as I am, I have to believe there is much more to life than what we concentrate and focus on daily.  Additionally, life is everything inbetween.  It's what we see, it's what we feel, it's what we do without knowing we do it, it's that immortal filing system we remember subconsciously and dream about.  Disney got it right when Cinderella sings, "A dream is a wish your heart makes".  Life is essentially what we take from its experiences.  Life is precious.  Life is good.

I may not have created my life but I can continue to build it.  I consider myself to be lucky enough to have great family, friends, influences, teachers, and challengers.  My life is beautiful thanks to all who inspire me and help me extract the vision and hope from the dandelion seeds I've received... and my wish for this dandelion seed is to pass it on.  So here you go... make a wish.


Always, Lainey
©2011 all rights reserved.

grandpa's song

in and out of lucid dreams

i'm still here

looking up at the ceiling

trying to convince myself there's nothing to fear

i felt you hold my hand

as you slept

your hourglass of sand

dripped in slow motion as you peacefully went

i'm not as strong as i should be

as i would like everyone to think

but everything you taught me

brings out the you in me

you bring out the you in me...

let me know you're okay

give us a sign

it's the first day without you awake

there's something missing i can't find

i'm not as strong as i should be

as i would like everyone to think

but everything you taught me

brings out the you in me

you bring out the you in me

you bring out the you in me...

i love you

i miss you

you're the glue that brought us here
i see you
when i look at myself in the mirror

i'm a part of you, grandpa

everything you taught me

brings out the you in me

you brought out the you in me

Always, Lainey
©2011 all rights reserved.

dare

Lilac wine. Sweet nectar of the rain. It's dark outside, yet there's spice in the air as heat rises off the ground.  Heat waves are visible.  It blurs the image of a stranger walking in our direction.  We're in a strangely familiar place even though no footprint has tainted the ground before.  There is a first for everything.  Life at this point can go in either direction:  through the mystic trails beyond the uncertainty blanketed by night's curtain, or through the circular trails we've become accustomed to that we believe have always kept us safe.  Intrigued by the inner whisper of adventure, we dare leave familiarity.

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

maybe

it's just me

i can't seem to get away but i can't stay

like a bad dream but i'm still awake

there's something

that's got a real good hold on me

maybe it's just a curse i need to break

maybe

days repeat

lost track of time when it unwinds before my eyes

but i can't give up even after a thousand tries

i'm waiting

for something anything to save me

maybe i just have to wait one more time

maybe

everything is temporary

the weaker i am the stronger i'll get

maybe it's just me but i can't forget i can

maybe it's just me

maybe
maybe

i'm wishing

there's a way out in the middle of it all

it's no one's fault cause i refuse to fall

silver screens

paint pretty pretty pictures of how it could be

maybe we should take it with a grain of salt

maybe

next scene is ripping at the seams

hearts beat heavily 

just breathe deeply steadily

then maybe we could see what they preach 

or maybe, maybe...

everything is temporary

the weaker i am the stronger i'll get

maybe it's just me but i can't forget i can

maybe it's just me

maybe, maybe, maybe...

everything is temporary

maybe it's just me

maybe

maybe

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.

believe in you

i heard what they said

but i chose not to respond

don't expect me to listen

when they always tell me i'm wrong

how can i stand up for you

when you push me away?

how can you call me a friend

when i'm the only one who stays? 

i'm reaching out to you

but you don't see me

cause the ground you're standing on 

is sinking...

truth falls on deaf ears when it speaks to you

turn your head to a new direction

don't chase someone else's perfection

you have to believe in you like i do

you have to believe in you

i know it's hard to ignore 

cause i've been there before

 let the tears you've cried

lift the weight from your eyes

and look up

cause you're loved

yeah you're loved...

i'm reaching out to you

but you don't see me

cause the ground you're standing on 

is sinking...

truth falls on deaf ears when it speaks to you

turn your head to a new direction

don't chase someone else's perfection

you have to believe in you like i do

you have to believe in you...

don't listen to what they said

choose not to respond

don't listen

when they always tell you you're wrong

you have to believe in you

believe in you

believe in you...

i believe in you

Always, Lainey

©2011 all rights reserved.