a new light

My name is Lainey.  I have been cursed with an insatiable hunger to document parts of life that I want to remember forever.  The good and the bad.  Everyone has a story to tell and I greatly encourage everyone to tell theirs.  This is mine...  I am a walking contradiction, at times indecisive, but when it counts, I surprise myself.  I love and I am loved.  I fight and I am fought for.  I close my eyes and I can still see.  I have a weakness for eyes and originality.  I miss gymnastics and competitive cheerleading (yes, it is a sport and it is very competitive). I love to write.  I love to dance.  I love to travel.  I am not an aspiring musician, but it doesn't stop me from playing.  When I'm in love, that's it... I'm done for!  <3<3

In this life, this skin I'm in is all I have... it's all I can give.  The best things in life are free... the feeling, the intangible, the idea, the concept, the philosophy, the perspective.  The posts that follow will be a collection of diary entries, photo diaries, poems, quotations, songs, and responses to articles or other things I have read or come across.  Inspiration is everywhere.  Take it, it's yours.  I will not be shy and I'll take what I can too!   

Common sense may not be so common, and we may not understand everything, but we can try to fill in the blanks.  Let's think outside the box and step outside our comfort zone for a moment.  Tonight there will be a different light to be seen under.  There are a myriad of stars in the sky.  Pick one.  That's the light we'll use tonight... a light that takes lifetimes to reach us here; and here it is.  It found us.

What is wrong with having our world turn upside-down?  This roller coaster we call life does have its ups and downs but during the times gravity flips us around, let's open our eyes.  Use the intensity of uncertainty to our advantage.  Just think, after this is over, we're going to aim higher and want something bigger.  Something better.  So tonight, let the light illuminate all areas of this secluded place we're in together.  The once darkened corners have vanished making it look like we're in a round room.  Now anything is possible.  Nothing will be lost and everything is in sight.   

What do you see?  What do you want?  I see hours turn into minutes and minutes turn into seconds of precious time we don't have a lot of.  I want to change the world.  Even if it is one person at a time or one family at a time, which is why I've become a therapist in Applied Behavior Analysis.  My intention is not to preach or point the finger, but to lead by example.  I volunteered in battered women's shelters, I was involved in beach clean-ups and graffiti paint-offs.  I have helped in job development for youth and senior job fairs where over 1,000 applicants have showed up.  I donate and have adopted families for the holidays, specifically families from the men's shelter since those are usually the ones overlooked.  I recycle and try to be green friendly.  I try to stay informed with current research and what is going on worldwide (fox news and similar newscasts have become a joke.  It's shameful how celebrity drama make headlines.  Most of the time real news is from overseas). At times when I feel helpless, quiet, or restless...  I write.  

Here's something I wrote in 2009.  It's something I feel still applies.  Enjoy!  

Stripped & Exposed

©2009 all rights reserved.

you think you have a grasp on things

on language, symbols, and meanings

nothing short of the truth, we've got a lot to learn

careful now you might get burned

so to each their own i guess

leaving our entangled society a mess

no wonder why we're stuck in this predicament 

when old opinion stains are permanent 

like hair color for instance, let's take blonde

we look at them as though their neurons are gone

it's nothing more than a recessive gene

or how chlorine turns it green

but they're more than just a joke

they're wigs you'll see on coins when you're broke

and we can't leave out the blacks

i won't let you attack without knowing a few more facts

they're not just another baby daddy who came and left

they invented the stop light preventing many deaths

 did you vote for our new president Obama 

and who do you think will be the newest MVP of the NBA's ballas?

are Mexican's taking all our jobs?

are you willing to work hard picking up after ungrateful American slobs?

undocumented workers flee cause our government barely helps theirs

you may not know but we hardly keep our word as their governmental neighbors

did you know that they invented the ochoaplane with collapsible wings

and a version of a windmill, magnetic breaks, a wrench, and a reversible motor machine?

and why are we so afraid of the Middle East?

when most of them want nothing but peace

learn to differentiate their religions, countries, and beliefs

have you not heard of Mahatma Ghandi

who taught us "to be the change we wish to see"

and "Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed"?

and now we'll discuss the Jews

who penny pinch and want you to pay your dues

with funny last names you see them all the same

cause they eat from those kosher plates

well then there's Jesus, Marx, Freud, Seinfeld, Sanders, and Einstein 

wise beyond their years without them we'd still be so behind

now we can't forget the color yellow

when Asians are usually the opposite of mellow

when they talk so fast and can't drive right

can't pronounce their L's and have limited sight

but they're more open to diversity and have upgraded technology

maybe we should open our eyes to see that there's more than just Chinese

then there's that double standard between genders

women killing themselves to be men's idea of slender

trapped below that glass ceiling of professionalism

when we're the one's sabotaging ourselves to get noticed by him

it's true that there are biological differences in the composition of the gendered brain

but that just means that we need better ways to prove we can do the same

and we can't neglect our boys

we teach them not to cry and play with certain toys

is it any wonder why they find it hard to express themselves now

when they were always restricted from saying it out loud?

yet they are expected to be strong and assertive

some of these visual learners perhaps are TAUGHT to be violent and perverted

and here's to all you homophobics

listen close cause i think you should know this

who would choose to be ostracised and hated on costing some their life?

and being just strong enough to be honest with themselves they're an easy target for hate crimes

there's research supporting the evidence in the hypothalamus effecting the pituitary gland and hormone production

there's traces throughout history and it's not about sex or a diagnosable dysfunction

and agism is a problem that often goes unnoticed

but we should see living a long life as a bonus

their motor skills are just weathered from the years

and being ignored and forgotten doesn't keep them from tears

they come off as bitter and smell of moth balls

wouldn't you be bitter too if generations to come considered you useless and confined you within walls?

there's many more topics i have yet to mention

but this shouldn't stop you from easing up the tension

so before you start generalizing and make hateful remarks

don't let ignorance leave you in the dark

stereo-types only hinder us from what there is to know

so check your sources and question what you've been told.

Love Always, Lainey 

©2011 all rights reserved.


P.S. here is an amazing song to listen to :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we_czU9sJ3g&ob=av2nl